- I like the establishing shot in the dark! Would have been good to have music start with that so it feels more part of the movie and not disconnected - Music works well to set the scene in relationship with on screen action - I love the slow pan to reveal the freaky guy watching through the window - close up of just eyes is out of focus butI get what you were trying to do there, great - nice contrast between dark / black outside and white decor inside - nice touch to have music ramp up and cut to reveal pizza girl - the close up on the lock is effective, could have even drawn that out a bit more, also continuity of lighting between both those opening door shots just needed some work - walking feet shots work well for concealing identity of main character - perhaps some more thought for the sound effects / music choice at pivotel points like knife being drawn and the start of the chase scene, could have really taken the sequence up a level in intensity - chase scene needed some more planning to get better footage of the chase - I like the question being asked and then the title which almost answers the question - the only thing that is unclear and almost unnecessary is the moment at the fridge with the photo of the little girl. It is unclear what she has to do with anything and so unnecessary unless you explain more somehow. Perhaps thinking about ways to tell a backstory would be good to look into for your next project. Think about things like internal dialogue / narration / flashbacks etc to try put your audience in the picture with what's happening in the story.
Great effort though, i can see a clear link between conventions you planned to use and your finished product.
Hi Luci
ReplyDeleteOverall Score: 18/20
- I like the establishing shot in the dark! Would have been good to have music start with that so it feels more part of the movie and not disconnected
- Music works well to set the scene in relationship with on screen action
- I love the slow pan to reveal the freaky guy watching through the window
- close up of just eyes is out of focus butI get what you were trying to do there, great
- nice contrast between dark / black outside and white decor inside
- nice touch to have music ramp up and cut to reveal pizza girl
- the close up on the lock is effective, could have even drawn that out a bit more, also continuity of lighting between both those opening door shots just needed some work
- walking feet shots work well for concealing identity of main character
- perhaps some more thought for the sound effects / music choice at pivotel points like knife being drawn and the start of the chase scene, could have really taken the sequence up a level in intensity
- chase scene needed some more planning to get better footage of the chase
- I like the question being asked and then the title which almost answers the question
- the only thing that is unclear and almost unnecessary is the moment at the fridge with the photo of the little girl. It is unclear what she has to do with anything and so unnecessary unless you explain more somehow. Perhaps thinking about ways to tell a backstory would be good to look into for your next project. Think about things like internal dialogue / narration / flashbacks etc to try put your audience in the picture with what's happening in the story.
Great effort though, i can see a clear link between conventions you planned to use and your finished product.